This article looks back on a love life shaped by high school memories, single periods, dating platforms, and missed chances. More than a confession, it is a lucid reflection on relationships, social expectations, and the difficulty of building something stable.
AI Mention: Article created by the author from recordings, structured by AI, reviewed and corrected by the author, then voiced by AI.
As Valentine’s Day approaches, many people take stock. Some are in relationships, others move between single life, expectations, and unfinished stories, and that period easily brings love life questions back to the surface.
For my part, I wanted to offer a lucid look at my sentimental journey since high school, between single periods, dating platforms, and missed chances. This is not a complaint, but a reflection on relationships and stability.
Single… But Not Always Truly Single
I have been completely single for about 12 or 13 years.
Zero girlfriend. Zero stable relationship.
Before that, I often lived in a gray area. The famous legal status:
Single… but in a relationship?
Single… with a girlfriend?
Single… with several girlfriends?
There isn’t really an in-between term. You’re not married, but you’re not entirely alone either.
The “Approach” Years and Pickup Groups
About 15 years ago, for two years, I approached women a lot.
Street marketing style. Spontaneous conversations. Coffee invitations. Walks. Phone numbers exchanged.
In a single session, I could talk to 3, 5, sometimes 10 women.
The result?
95 to 97% rejection.
And yet, I’m sociable. Polite. Capable of holding a normal conversation.
But often the reaction was cold, distant, closed off.
Over two or three years, I may have spoken to close to 1,000 women.
Very few concrete outcomes.
Numbers exchanged. Selfies to remember each other. Follow-up messages.
And often… no response.
Or dates scheduled… with no one showing up.
Dating Platforms: Meetic, Tinder, and the Rest
Then came platforms like Meetic.
Hundreds of messages sent.
In large cities like Lille or Paris, there are more opportunities — but also more competition.
I was tall, athletic, running regularly.
But bodybuilding costs money. And I never had the physiology to become “ultra-muscular.”
Yes, I had a few conquests.
But nothing truly stable.
On Tinder, they sell you the dream:
€25 subscription, a few photos, and magic happens.
In reality, it’s not that simple.
The system favors those with resources, strong personal marketing, or high social status.
High School and the First Big Mistake
In high school, I experienced my first real relationship.
It ended after I sent her a letter written while completely drunk, over several days, with a friend.
Five pages of delirious, provocative, absurd content.
When I came back from vacation, she broke up with me.
She rebuilt her life.
So did I — in a different way.
Long-Distance Love
In high school, I had another relationship that later became long-distance.
We were separated by 500 kilometers due to our studies.
Very limited financial means to see each other.
There were happy moments, but also excess: alcohol, cigarettes, cannabis.
Poor lifestyle. Little sport.
I insisted on completing a master’s degree (bac +5), partly out of pride.
I could have stopped earlier, worked, gained field experience, and been well paid sooner.
She continued her studies there.
We no longer aligned.
Short Relationships
In total, I lived about six months as a couple under the same roof:
- Three months in 2003 in Paris
- Three months in 2008 with another girlfriend
One woman I could have married.
Another complicated situation involving a violent ex in the background.
I do not condone violence against women.
And I cannot pretend it doesn’t exist.
“Conquests” and the Pickup Logic
I was told:
Multiply your encounters. Choose the one you like most.
Almost an entrepreneurial logic.
You don’t rely on immediate love at first sight.
You test. You compare. You select.
But this mindset also creates instability.
For both men and women.
The Money Factor
Let’s be honest.
Without money, it’s more complicated.
Travel costs money.
Going out costs money.
Platform subscriptions cost money.
There were periods when my budget went into excesses instead of financing real encounters.
Lack of mobility = fewer opportunities.
Social Pressure and Fear of Commitment
There is global, media, and social pressure.
We hesitate to commit.
We hesitate to attempt something serious.
We doubt.
Sometimes you could live a 15-day adventure.
Or see whether love might grow.
But you don’t take the step.
Illness, Stagnation, and Barriers
After a breakup about two and a half years ago, I became ill.
It took two years to stabilize the situation.
Very little concrete medical help.
Over 15 years:
- Around twenty “friend zone” friendships
- Two or three real relationships
- Many conversations
- Very little stability
Social Media and Hyper-Competition
Today, some women have 30,000 or 50,000 followers.
They receive dozens of messages per day.
I remember a Facebook Live in 2018:
A beautiful woman was receiving dozens of marriage proposals live.
How do you compete in that environment?
Beauty, Status, and Reality
We’re told:
You don’t need to be tall, handsome, or intelligent.
But in reality, attraction plays a role.
We’re told:
Birds of a feather flock together.
But in practice, social status and income levels influence dynamics.
There is a certain income threshold that makes things easier.
Few people reach it.
Love as an Enterprise
Building a family and building a business share similarities:
- Investment
- Long-term vision
- Risk management
- Commitment
Looking for a partner also requires an entrepreneurial mindset.
Conclusion: No Complaint, Just an Observation
I’m not complaining.
I’ve experienced:
- Pink periods
- Excesses
- Mistakes
- Missed opportunities
Today, I have more personal stability.
I still lack strong financial resources.
I still lack the right encounter, at the right time.
But I don’t think I’m an isolated case.
Whether you are:
- Single for a long time
- In a relationship
- With multiple conquests
- Wealthy or not
Everyone has their own struggles.
On the eve or the day after Valentine’s Day, everyone takes stock.
Mine is simple:
I tried.
I learned.
I keep moving forward.
And I’ll see what the future holds.
José D.
Reference: Love life
Reference: social media
Reference: information technology
Reference: artificial intelligence